


Forbidden

by natimesia



Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:41:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26812333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/natimesia/pseuds/natimesia
Summary: Isak Valtersen isn’t exactly expecting a love story, but then Even Bech Næsheim happens.
Relationships: Even Bech Næsheim/Isak Valtersen
Comments: 24
Kudos: 42





	Forbidden

Isak’s date is late.

And it’s cool, is the thing - or, is what he tries to tell himself, anyway. He’s not expecting anything out of this - not a boyfriend, and certainly not a love story. He makes it a point of trying not to let this small drawback get him down too much - it is kind of hard considering that this is his very first date since he came out a month ago - but just like what he keeps on chanting under his breath for the past thirty minutes, _it’s freaking cool._

He glances at his watch (for the nth time) and speculate that maybe it has malfunctioned (for the nth time, too). But the thing is, he knows deep inside that it isn't - also because the wall clock hanging above the bartender’s head across the room says so; it flashes the same time his watch does: 21:10. They had agreed to meet at 20:30 and it is already 21:10. 

Forty minutes. His date is forty minutes late.

_Oh, God._

Is he being ditched on his first date? _Really?_

Isak takes a deep breath and closes his eyes for a moment, all the while attempting to find even the tiniest bit of silver lining in the situation he finds himself in. He’s sure that he found himself in scenarios far less appealing than this one. Suddenly, an image of blonde hair, acne-scarred cheeks and an honest to God no-filter mouth pops into his brain, and just like that, Isak’s eyes snap back wide open as he releases the most relieved sigh.

Isak would definitely rather be in a full-house restobar in his lonesome self than where he was an hour ago, which was in Jonas’ apartment. He had decided to pay his old pal a quick visit to kill some time after realizing that he’s already dressed up and ready two hours prior the set time of the date. Isak found the bushy-eyed man focused on playing FIFA in the middle of his living room when he arrived, and without any further greetings, he ordered (Jonas likes commanding people) Isak to join him. Isak complied since he needed something to buy him some time, and he’s _always_ ready to kick Jonas’ ass on FIFA. All was good for the first few minutes, but then _Magnus_ arrived and things went downhill from there.

No-Filter Magnus, a “perger” kid who is Jonas’ self-proclaimed badass childhood friend, had shown up and had thrown his controller at Isak when he ultimately kicked his ass in one game, and the thing suddenly stopped working, and the next thing he knew, it was all silence and they were all just kind of sitting on Jonas’ plush couch. 

Awkwardly. So, so awkwardly. Isak was sure things couldn’t get more awkward.

The thing is, Magnus is Jonas’ best friend but not Isak’s. They are acquainted but not really that close. Basically, their friendship is summed up with _‘Sup, bro?’ ‘Nothing much. J’s in his room.’ ‘Cool. See ya around.’ ‘Cool.’_

Isak could not make small talks even if his life depends on it, and Jonas was mad at the both of them for breaking his controller, so it was all pure, agonizing silence. But just when he thought things couldn’t get any more awkward, No-Filter Magnus opens his big mouth and –

“So. Gay sex.” 

And that was Isak’s cue to leave.

So, he left. 

And now here he is. 

And it’s already 21:15 in the evening. 

And he is still alone.

Isak starts thinking that it’s perfectly reasonable to mandate an ultimatum. 21:20, he decides. Five more minutes. That’s probably enough time to prove to himself and to his date that he is not an impatient person. The nobility of waiting for hours only happens in movies, for Christ’s sake.

And just like what has been established earlier, it’s really not even like he’s expecting anything other than dinner, anyway. Isak is not the commitment type of guy, to be honest. He thinks being committed to someone is overrated, not to mention overtaxing. Besides, he literally just came out a month ago. He has lots of time to explore. He is not someone who rushes into things. Isak intends to save the serious stuff for later. The purpose of this date is solely for sheer fun.

Also, it wasn’t like it is his fault that he’s in this kind of situation. Linn was bored out of her mind one night, and it was only her and Isak in the kollektivet at that time, and that easily made him the ultimate target (sacrifice) for the once in a blue moon excitement in her mundane life (her words, not Isak’s). And the thing was, she’s well aware that Isak wouldn’t let her touch his phone sober, so being the wily minx that is Linn Larsen Hansen, she made it a point to get him blackout drunk before stealing the device and making him a Tinder account. She swiped right all night while Isak was passed out in the corner, and what woke him the next day was the non-stop _ping!_ of his phone. After telling Linn off and lecturing her about boundaries and effectively banning her from buying alcoholic beverages for a month, he locked himself in his room and started browsing.

Surprisingly, everyone he (Linn) matched sent him a message. Everyone except one. It’s just to Isak’s mild annoyance that it was also by far the hottest one. Isak deliberately ignored it for two days, but finally bit the bullet and messaged him on the third. He got a reply just a few minutes later, and his interest was piqued so he answered back just as fast, and then just like that, conversations flew seamlessly. Next thing he knew, it’s two weeks later and the guy was apparently convinced enough that Isak was neither a catfish nor a serial killer because he finally asked for a meet-up. Isak easily agreed. It was also the guy who decided the time and the date, and he sounded eager, even. (Or that’s what Isak has assumed since he used a couple of exclamation marks).

_So why the hell is he still alone?_

Isak has seen him - or him in his profile picture, anyway. He has come to learn that he has the habit of staring at the single black and white picture every time they chat. That’s exactly how Eskild had found him last week while cooking (heating) dinner for Roomie Night. He’d be embarrassed on getting caught if it wasn’t for how Eskild legit choked on his saliva when he saw the photo.

“He looks like he has a huge dick!” he screamed at the top of his lungs.

“ _-Jesus Christ-_ ”

“Meh,” Linn commented, and Isak and Eskild stopped squabbling to give her a look, and it was comical how Isak couldn’t determine who looked more offended.

“ _Meh?_ ” Eskild was the first to react, disbelief written all over his face.

“He’s hot, but meh,” Linn shrugged, popping a baby carrot in her mouth. “He’s not smiling.”

Eskild scoffed. “Who needs a smile when he has a huge dick-”

“-we don’t even know that-”

“ _-yet-_ ”

“Weren’t you the one who swiped right?” Noora cut in, effectively ending Eskild and Isak’s banter.

“I didn’t expect they’d match,” Linn said, “I didn’t expect anyone to swipe right, really.”

“ _Excuse me?_ ”

“It was a compliment, shut up,” Linn said, rolling her eyes. “I put a photo of you passed out drunk and mouth wide open and you still have matches. The guy probably thinks _you_ have a huge dick.”

Eskild slowly nodded. “I mean, he’s right, kind of-”

“What the hell? How would you - no, don’t even answer that -”

“I could affirm,” Noora said, nodding solemnly. Isak groaned loud as he remembered all those countless times that Noora walked in on him in the shower. He couldn’t count how many ‘ _Lock the door, for Christ’s sake, Isak!’_ he received, and a ‘ _Does nobody in this goddamn house know how to knock?!_ ’ he screamed. In his defense, shouldn’t she be hearing the water running?

“Oh _jesus_ , just imagine the hot sex, Isak!” Eskild moaned, fanning his face for the dramatics.

“He’s not smiling,” Linn insisted.

“So fucking what?” Eskild and Isak both said in exasperation.

Linn looked at them like they’re both absolute idiots, and then she stood, walked up to Isak in three long steps, placed both her hands on Isak’s shoulders, and with the most serious face Isak had ever seen from her, she said, “Look for a smile that could light up the entire west coast, Isak,” before walking out of the kitchen and retreating in her room. The three momentarily shared a look before immediately shrugging it off because it sure as hell wasn’t the weirdest thing Linn had ever muttered. It was what stuck to Isak the most though, and he may refuse to admit that what she said had gotten into him all he wants, but it was a fact that made him feel like he wouldn’t be too upset if the guy doesn’t show up tonight. Small mercies for Linn and her weirdness.

So, yes, Isak certainly is not expecting anything.

He decides to glance at his watch. _21:21._

With a deep sigh, Isak makes his move to stand, but then -

“I’d tell you the truth why I’m late, but I don’t think you’ll believe me.”

The thing is, Isak has never heard his voice, and yet he knows in his bones that it is _him_. And when Isak turns around, it _is_ him, and he’s there right behind Isak, and he’s panting and sweating but he’s there, and he has a bouquet of white roses in his huge paws, and he hates that _huge dick_ is what immediately pops into his mind first, and then the image of Eskild’s smug face the second, but it was all gone just as fast as it appeared because the guy - _Even_ \- is smiling, and suddenly everything doesn’t make any sense but at the same time everything makes so much damn sense, because that smile -

Isak is 110% sure it could light up the entirety of the west coast.

**x**

The dinner is great. The conversations are greater.

Mysterious is one word. Enigmatic is another, and Isak has decided that Even – _‘Why Even?’_ _‘My mom is obsessed with Evan Arnold but the Norwegian accent botched the pronunciation’ ‘My mamma is obsessed with him, too!’_ \- is outlandishly just that. 

Apparently, Even’s not interested about the things that are usually talked about on the first date. For one, Even doesn’t speak much about his personal life, and Isak is persistent to find out why next time ( _if_ there is next time) (seeing how Even seems to be just as smitten as Isak is, there absolutely is) (Isak is at the very least 69% sure of it). Isak knew it even before when he was still ‘inside’ his phone as _evenbn_ , so he doesn’t question further. Instead, they focus more on what he thinks about this and that and what he wants and what Isak wants and it’s all very casual but he’s quite relishing. Some may look at it as a red flag; Isak finds it thrilling. Going on a date with someone without knowing his whole background is quite exciting, considering it’s his first time doing this with a guy. 

At one point during the night, Isak finds himself having the guts to ask some personal stuff. He started with pointing out the tinge of American accent in the way Even speaks, and he explained that he was exiled (Even’s actual words) to America for the first half of his life. He ended it with a resigned smile, and an, “I’m the son no one’s supposed to know about.” It was ominous, but Isak merely nodded because keeping boundaries is a must on the first date.

For a second, silence ensues between them, but then - “Partners?” Even says, apropos of nothing.

For a moment, Isak only stares. He finds it strange that Even would even ask such a thing. They’re on a date. They met on an online dating site, for heaven’s sake. Aren’t they supposed to be lacking of those?

Isak answers anyway. “None.”

He continues to share to Even his perspective on relationships and commitments. As he speaks further, he notices Even’s mouth twitching. _Interesting._

When Isak finishes it with _I just think that commitments are limiting_ , Even clears his throat, sips on his wine, and with a loaded look, he says, “I think commitments are limiting, too.”

Somehow, just like that, they both knew that a deal has been sealed. 

Isak and Even stare into each other’s’ knowing eyes, and it was so intense that even the loud hustle and bustle of the restopub around them is not strong enough to break it.

Isak is the one who moves first as he excuses himself to the restroom.

It isn’t really a surprise when Even follows two minutes later.

**x**

So, Even and Isak has a deal and it went on like this:

Even: So . . .

Isak: So . . .

Even: Look, we don’t have to have the awkward morning after cliché. Since we established the whole no commitment thing, I think it’s safe to say that I liked what happened last night and I’m not ashamed saying that I want to do it again.

Isak: Okay, but we have to establish some ground rules before we proceed. Communication is the key to a healthy - um . . . no strings attached setup.

Even: Sure. Well, okay, first and foremost, respect.

Isak: Second, no fighting, no jealousy, no fondly looking at each other's eyes. 

Even: Fairly reasonable. Third, no naming each other’s penis.

Isak, with an unamused look: Surely that’s a general rule for all mankind.

Even, shrugging: Yeah, but I can’t think of another rule.

Isak, a bit exasperated now: We can only have two rules.

Even, scandalized: We could not possibly have only two rules, Isak. That’s ridiculous.

Isak, rolling his eyes: You’re ridiculous. So, should we shake on it?

And they did.

As Isak leaves, feeling like his confidence drastically shedding for every step he takes farther from Even’s apartment, the first person he thinks of seeing is Sana. Out of all people, Isak truly believes she understands him best. 

But . . . Sana? The one with the most stable relationship out of all his friends, the most self-righteous, and cautious person he’s ever come to known? Sana “the voice of reason” Bakkoush? Isak is suddenly flooded with the feeling of hesitation. 

He remembers what she had told him when he informed her that he’s got a date. “I know you’re stupid, but don’t be too stupid to fall in love on the first date, Isak.” Isak would’ve laughed at her face if he’s sure she wouldn’t smack him, because, love? He’s not that dense. He may be new at this dating stuff, but he knows things. He knows better than engaging in something fickle like love.

So when he says, “Trust me, the only thing I’d be falling into is a dick, and that is even under the presumption that everything goes well,” Sana did smack him, and that was that.

Isak can only imagine Sana’s reaction if he told her about the deal he had just gotten himself into. She’d have a conniption for sure; probably disown him as a friend, even. Will tell him that nothing good will come out of it, will probably hit him in the process. Sana will not judge him - Sana is never judgmental - but he doesn’t want her to think that he can’t stand up to his own words, because he did fall into a dick, alright, a pretty huge one at that, too, _pardon his French,_ but he’s pretty sure Sana won’t want to be hearing the rest of the story.

That makes Isak wonder if he’s the judgmental one.

**x**

In the end, it is Magnus who Isak has turned to.

It’s purely accidental, of course. Jonas invited Isak over in his apartment for a couple of beers and who was Isak to decline, really? It doesn’t come out as a shock when Isak finds Mahdi and Magnus there, too. 

A couple of beers later with Jonas and Mahdi already passed out on the floor, Magnus with his inquisitive and no-filter mouth starts asking questions about Isak’s whole new sexuality. 

And the thing is, the thing with Even had been going on for two weeks now, and they’ve met up thrice already sans the first date, and it was going so smooth and Isak was feeling all sorts of things about it and he’s really just dying to tell someone - _anyone_ \- at this point, so the next thing he knows, he’s blurting everything out to Magnus (well, undetailed, of course). 

Magnus surprised him that night. Turns out, when he’s not opening his no-filter mouth, he is quite an excellent listener. Isak was also surprised (and a bit disturbed, really) how knowledgeable Magnus is about these kinds of setup because apparently, his friends call him the ‘FUBU King”. Isak just nods in hopes that it appears he knows what FUBU means.

At one point, Magnus asks him, “How do you know that you like sucking dicks?” And the most painful thing is that he looks so earnest that Isak refused to act on his first instinct which is to strangle him.

_Okay, Isak. Magnus has Asperger’s, remember? Calm down._

“Well Magnus,” Isak says slowly, “A life unexamined is a life not worth living.” 

Isak never thought he’d say this, but _thank God for Socrates._

“So, you explored,” Magnus speaks slowly.

“As a matter of fact, I did.” Before he can speak, he adds, “Do. Not. Ask. How.”

Magnus goes silent for a minute.

“Do you think I should . . . explore too?” It was so soft Isak barely heard him. And he wishes he didn’t. When Isak glances at Magnus, he looks dead serious. 

_Well, shit._

“I’d have to throw the question right back at you, bud,” Isak says as he barely contains his voice from cracking. He is definitely not drunk enough for this conversation. “Do you think you should explore?”

“How the fuck will I know?”

Isak nods. “Okay. Fair answer.” He pauses. “Well, are you content? With your, er, activities?”

“Sure,” Magnus says, shrugging, “but what if I want more?”

“Do you?”

“I’m not sure?”

“Well that’s stupid,” Isak downright says. “You couldn’t not know if you wanted more or not. It’s a matter of wanting and not wanting things.”

“But-”

“Okay, hold up.” Isak cuts him off, simply because he cannot believe how stupid he is for putting himself in this kind of position. He should have never opened his mouth in the first place. 

Unleashing his best Eskild’s gay-guru impression, he says, “You said you’re contented, right? So why don’t we just stop there, okay bud?” He was being patronizing at this point, but it’s Magnus he’s talking to, and sometimes (most of the time), things just fly over his head without him noticing.

But Magnus’s face scrunches and then settles into a frown. “Why don’t you seem okay with me exploring? Do you think you’re turning me into a gay? Because Isak, I don’t just go with the flow. It’s not like I suddenly want to suck dicks just because my friend loves to.”

Isak winces so bad his head starts hurting.

“That’s not the point,” Isak says. “It’s your choice, not mine. I’m just looking out for you. There are certain . . . risks.”

“Like STDs,” Magnus says matter-of-factly, and _Jesus Christ on a stick._

Isak has to pause for a while to calm himself before speaking again. “That too, but what I am actually saying is that you must think about this thoroughly because you might head into the wrong direction and realize that you don’t actually want this but it’s already too late. But then again, there’s nothing wrong with exploring. That is if you’re brave enough to face the . . . uhh . . . aftershock, I guess?” He’s bullshitting his way out of this conversation at this point, and if he had to pull out every last bit of the most pathetic and nonsense explanation out of his ass, then so be it.

Magnus is again silent for a minute, and then –

“You’re a good friend, Isak,” he slurs.

Isak smiles because the conversation has finally reached its end. “I know.”

“One last question, though.”

“Ask away.”

“How did you know you like it in the ass?”

This time, Isak does strangle him.

“Ow! Jesus, it’s a joke, not a dick. Don’t take it too hard!” 

Isak hits him again. Harder. 

“You did not just use Jesus and dick in one sentence,” Isak slurs, hits Magnus again before fully passing out.

**x**

So the thing is, Even never tells Isak anything about him on a personal level, but Isak prides himself on being an observant person so technically, he knows a lot about Even more than the latter wants him to and Isak’s saying this in the most non-creepy way.

One thing he knows and finds weird is that Even has the best sense of humor but he never laughs. His mouth makes this weird twitching thing that once in a blue moon blooms into a full-blown smile whenever something funny comes up, but he never laughs. For quite some time, Isak made it a secret mission to take it out of him. So far, all attempts have failed.

Another thing - and this is what bothers Isak the most - is the fact that Even has no fucking clue how hot he actually is, and how every single person with eyes could see it. There was one time when Even picked him up from work and they decided to spend the night in the kollektivet, and throughout the journey, Isak had been complaining about a lazy workmate non-stop, but then he stopped when they finally entered the apartment because what welcomed them were three heads turned to their direction (or Even, specifically), sporting similar bulging eyes and mouths wide open. He’d be embarrassed by his roommates’ palpable _thirsts_ if it wasn’t for how astounded he was when he noticed that Even wasn’t even aware of their presence, his attention solely on Isak as he waited for him to continue. This happens everywhere and with everyone they basically come across - in the groceries store, in Kaffe, and even just when they walk down the street. Even was completely oblivious about the reactions his sheer presence produces to other people, and this fact amps his hotness up to a thousand, really.

But what really takes the cake is the fact that Even blushes quite a lot, and that is quite odd for a guy who has a dirty mind (trust Isak, he _knows_ ) and could probably recite the Kama Sutra front ways and back. Even has a mouth like a sailor and Isak has learned that after the first night of their . . . _adventures_ in bed. Isak once mentioned that Linn loved the pesto he cooked, and Even legit turned into a tomato. Isak still smiles whenever he remembers it.

Soon, Isak has come to learn that he is not the only observant one in this thing (Isak used the term ‘thing’ because Even and Isak are not in a relationship. Absolutely not) they have. Once, after an eventful time in bed, he asked why Isak, unlike him, never uttered profanities. 

“I never swear,” was his answer, and it was such a shitty one, but that’s because Isak never even really noticed it. Nobody ever called him out on it. It’s just Even. 

“Never?”

Isak gave it a thought, and then had said, “Well, on special occasions, I do.” 

Even asked him what kind of special occasion and Isak had answered, “Well, I’d tell you.” He let the sentence hang. 

“But? I sense a but coming here.” And the smartass bastard that Even is, added, “No pun intended, of course,” before lightly smacking Isak’s bare ass.

Isak rolled his eyes in annoyance, but his smile told otherwise. “But I’d have to kill you.”

Even had told Isak he was full of bull, and Isak said he was not. Even insisted that Isak was and said that what Isak was saying was plain crazy. He continued by saying Isak probably only speaks swear words on his birthday and Isak had told him that his birthday is not a special occasion, because it’s true. It isn’t.

Even looked scandalized when he said, “You don’t think birthdays are special? See, this is another reason why I think you speak bull.” 

Isak rolled his eyes and said, “Yes, because bull is my vocabulary.”

Silence.

He then touched Isak’s legs.

“What kind of special occasions, then?” And then he added, “This, right now, could be a special occasion,” with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

Isak snorted. “How so? We’re in bed, stark naked. This is definitely not my kind of special occasion. I’m not some kind of floozy,” he had joked.

Even hummed, deep in contemplation. “Well, what if I do this?”

Suddenly, his hands came up . . . and up . . . and _up_ . . .

“Well,” Isak had said and took a huge gulp. “In that case, _fuuuuuudge_ . . .”

The hand stopped. Isak almost growled in response.

And then two things happened:

Even laughed, and Isak’s heart stopped beating.

**x**

Isak has no idea when and how it started, but he feels like things have gotten a wee bit different between Even and him over the next couple of weeks. What surprises him is that it isn’t even like he has a whiplash of the changes, because if he really thinks about it - how the touches are gentler, the whispered words sweeter, the smiles and laughters oftener - they have been like this since the first week. 

The ultimate eye-opener happened when Even was making Isak breakfast one day, and it was a quiet morning for the both of them with Isak still half-asleep and half-awake and Even still reeling from the blowjob he received as a wake-up call earlier, but then the loud ringing of Isak’s phone broke the peaceful ambiance of the room, and it was Eskild asking him to come home because he lost his keys and no one was inside the apartment, and Isak had half a mind to leave him outside for a couple of hours because Even’s eggs smelled so good, _goddamnit,_ but Even, the kind, considerate bastard that he is, wordlessly packed the food and told him to save his guru, and Isak grumpily complied. As he walked him out the door and handed him his take-out, he said, “Text me when you get home,” before leaning in, and Isak leaned in like it was a second nature for him, and then they kissed, and it was just a chaste one, and then Isak walked out, and Even closed the door, and just when Isak finally stepped out on the streets that it dawned to him.

They kissed. They never kiss outside the bedroom. Isak knows it’s dangerous, and he’s pretty sure Even knows too. It wasn’t one of their expressly prohibited ground rules, but somehow it became an implied one, and they broke it. After more than two months of a successful no strings attached setup, they finally broke a rule. Just their luck that it was probably the most crucial rule in the book.

That one chaste kiss bothered Isak for _days_ , and it made him all confused, and he shouldn’t even be confused because so fucking what if they kissed; it’s not like it’s the end of the world, but still they _kissed_ , _but_ _so what?_ Because it is only a friends-with-benefits thing.

Right?

“Wrong,” Magnus answers. 

He and Isak have been spending a lot of time after that one fateful drunken night which shall never be mentioned ever ever _ever_ again. He doesn’t know when and how Magnus became his confidante, but he’s come to accept that Magnus could be a pretty chill guy if he tries hard enough, so Isak decides to keep him and opens up to him (still undetailed, of course).

Tonight though, Magnus is not trying hard enough.

Isak groans and opens another bottle of beer. He’s full-blown drunk at this point, and he’s very well aware of that, but Even has been messaging him non-stop for the whole day about mundane little things and he was being extra cute and sweet and Isak absolutely cannot deal with a cute and sweet Even. Mysterious, smoking hot Even, he could ride with (and ride, heh), but not this new version. 

“Look, man. There’s no need to get your panties up in a twist, alright? It’s Evan who initiates all these things. Clearly it’s not a friends-with-benefits thing for him. And more clearly, it’s not a friends-with-benefits thing for you either. Trust me, dude, I know these things. They call me FUBU King for a reason,” Magnus says.

Isak wants to tell him that first, he’s wrong because Even doesn’t even like commitments. Second, Isak doesn’t like commitments either, so what he’s saying can’t possibly be correct, and third, his name is Even because his mom was and still is in love with Evan Arnold, _get your facts straight, Magnus._

But then Isak’s too stressed to even blurt that all out, so instead he says, “What the _frack_ does FUBU even mean?”

Magnus shakes his head in disappointment. “Not the point, dude!” he says. “Why can’t you just admit to yourself that-”

“-Look, Even and I don’t love each other like that, so I don’t have to admit any-”

“-Whoa! Whoa, wait. I never uttered the L-word, man.” Isak stops talking and frowns, and then realization hits, but even before he could react, Magnus is already speaking again. “Ohhh. Oh, okay. I get it.”

“No, no. It’s not like that! It’s-”

“Shut up. You already said it yourself,” Magnus says, his voice louder than normal. “Now that the cards are on the table, all you have to do is be brave enough to be a man and accept it. Take the leap, Isak!”

Isak doesn’t know what surprises him more, the fact that Magnus called him by his name for the very first time or that what he said was probably the most sensible thing Isak has ever heard from him.

“There are eight billion people in this whole damn world. Why him?” Isak groans.

“Because he’s excellent in bed. You told me yourself.” Isak frowns because what he asked is a rhetorical question. Still, Magnus has a point. 

“This is pathetic,” Isak slurs. “I don’t even want a relationship! Relationships are stupid. It’s overrated, and it’s too mainstream. You’ll be overloaded with emotions and you’ll feel this ridiculous thing called heart get broken and bruised and it would just break and smash into a hundred little pieces if the other person doesn’t want you. It will make you theatrical and will prevent you from seeing any good in the world. You’ll get depressed and eventually die if you stopped taking your pills because your cat ate it and apparently it died too.”

Silence.

“Am I turning into a stereotypical gay?” Isak ends his monologue.

It was another rhetorical question, but this time, Magnus doesn’t answer. Isak’s eyes widened. 

“That was a joke, you dick! You were supposed to tell me no!” And then realization hits. “Oh my God. I am! I am turning into a stereotypical gay!”

“A dramatic one too,” Magnus supplies, but Isak ignores him.

“But I’m not ready to name each other’s penises!” he exclaims, “Or am I? Oh my god what is happening.” 

He’s full-out panicking at this point. Magnus, on the other hand, is the perfect picture of calm.

“I think you should name one after me, seeing that I helped you put two and two together,” he quips, and Isak has to stop his freak out and just stare for a second.

“You want me to call his penis Magnus,” he says slowly, trying and failing to make it make sense. 

Magnus shrugs. “I mean, I prefer your penis because you’re my friend, but his is okay too, I guess. Eskild says it’s huge.”

At this point, Isak is starting to question both his and Magnus’ sanity.

“I . . . I don’t even - what?”

“Just say yes, Isak,” Magnus says, nodding solemnly. “You’re ready for this. Say it. Say it with me, come on. _You’ll name Even’s penis Magnus because you love me and you love his penis and you love him and he loves you_.”

“You don’t know that! He doesn’t even know that!”

A look passes on Magnus’ stupid face then, but Isak’s too drunk to decipher it. He’s even more confused when Magnus mutters, “I wouldn’t be too sure about that,” but he chooses to ignore him because that doesn’t even make any sense but more so because all that’s running through his mind is _holy motherfuck, Even Bech Næsheim, what the fuckity fuck have you done to me?_

**x**

The next morning, Even invites him for a coffee. Still half-drunk, he agrees. There are no words uttered on the way except for the casual morning greeting and a kiss or two. Isak wasn’t even in the right mind to put up a decent outfit, let alone question the kisses, so he left it for now. 

What was bothering him though were the quick nervous glances Even keeps throwing at him, but just like everything else, he ignores it. The first order of business for today is coffee, and then the rest after. Still, he should've known something was wrong right then and there.

As they stand over the counter waiting for their coffee order, Even speaks for the first time in a while.

In a too casual voice, he says, “I like the name Magnus.”

Isak throws him a weird look. _What in the world?_

“Okay,” he says slowly, and he thought that was that, but then -

“It sounds like Magnum. It means big, you know?”

Isak does not have any idea what is happening right now or what the hell this guy is talking about, so he repeats, “Okay?”

Even is nodding slowly now. “I mean, it’s just _fitting_ , I think. Don’t you?”

“Um, sure?”

Isak has never been more confused, and his head is pounding from the hangover, but as he notices the look Even is sending him, it is slowly but surely finally sinking in. Before Isak fully freaks out though, Even is speaking again: “Also, just so you know, I don’t date a dramatic, stereotypical gay. It’s too stereotypically . . . stereotypical.” 

Isak has never been more resolute in wishing that he could bury himself alive right then and there in the middle of the coffee shop. Immediately, the five fundamental questions run through his mind: what . . . when . . . where . . . how . . . who . . .

_Who . . ._

Magnus most definitely has a death wish, Isak thinks, but even if it isn’t the case, it wouldn’t matter because Isak is absolutely going to murder him.

He opens his mouth to explain, but Even’s next words effectively made everything else stop - his breathing, his movements, his world. “But I think, for you? I’d reconsider.”

And see, Isak’s not that smart, but he’s not dumb enough to put two and two together, and Isak couldn’t see himself, but he knows just how stupid he looks with his eyes almost popping out of their sockets and mouth gaping for so long. Even though - he looks like the perfect specimen that he is, with a tentative smile on his face, the same lighting-the-west-coast-inducing smile that Isak had proudly dubbed, and Isak can feels eyes trained on Even but Even only has eyes for him, and Isak’s heart is beating so hard in his chest and he’s suddenly feeling so alive, so no one can take it against him when he decides to shed off all his inhibitions and pounced on Even right then and there.

Just then, two things hit him fair and square: 

Isak has a freaking boyfriend, and Magnus earns his FUBU King title, whatever that means.

**x**

Everything is perfectly well.

Even is perfect, and Isak is nervous.

The thing is, Even cracks his whole world wide open in such terrifyingly and wonderful ways that Isak wonders how he’ll feel when this thing with Even ends, because it has to; it seems too great to be real. So, for the first couple of weeks, Isak waits with the underlying fear of whatever will ultimately break them apart.

One month and there’s nothing. All is picture perfect.

Two months and it couldn’t get any better.

In the third month, Isak finally learns to stop being cynical and starts accepting the fact that maybe he can have this without any of the usual shit shows that follow. Maybe he can take Even for the gift that he is. Maybe Isak can truly be happy for once in his goddamn life.

Of course, life has other plans.

See, everything is perfectly well, until it isn’t.

In the fifth month that they started dating, something slipped. Literally.

It is a photograph falling out of one of Even’s photography books haphazardly thrown around his apartment. An old, worn out but obviously taken care of picture. Isak doesn’t know how long he’s been staring at the picture, but he feels it when Even stands behind him and takes it from his grasp, smiling sheepishly. 

“I see you’ve met the family.” 

He says it like it was a joke, but one word burns him:

_Family?_

Suddenly, Isak feels tons of bricks falling down on him. He manages to open his mouth and asks, “That . . . the woman. She’s your mamma?”

He looks at Even, and Even looks at him, and he must’ve seen the horror on Isak’s face, because the smile he’s sporting is slowly slipping off his.

Isak doesn’t wait for his answer. He knows it, anyway. When he runs out the door, he hears Even calling after him. He sounds confused. Hurt, even. But Isak never looks back.

And it’s not like the movies, he has come to learn. There is no happy ending, no swelling cinematic score. There are no declarations of love, no passionate endless kiss. It’s not even freaking raining. Instead, there’s the sound of hurried footsteps on the pavement, a door slamming shut, and a throat so closed up he couldn’t even choke out a cry if he tried. There is Isak getting in the cab and there is him biting his bottom lip to keep it from trembling.

There is a question: “Where to?”

And there is a reply: “Anywhere. Just drive.”

And that’s that.

That’s the end.

Too bad Isak just started expecting for a love story.

**Author's Note:**

> I’m . . . I’m so sorry.
> 
> Feel free to shout at me in the comments.


End file.
